2NE1 – An Interesting Saturday

Last weekend began with chatting with a co-worker after work about what was changing at the school between terms.  Mostly teacher promotions, shifts in management, etc.  Another co-teacher sends me a text-message: “you left early!  I never got a chance to ask you what your weekend plans were?”

I replied: “Nothing sunday.  Saturday I’m stalking pop stars all day.”

So it began.  I woke up, dressed a bit smartly for a Saturday, suit with no tie and a heavy overcoat (it is cold here now.  The ice outside my apartment hasn’t been melting during the day anymore).  At about 8:30am, I left home to take the subway most of the way across Seoul, where I met a friend of mine (an English teacher from London).  We showed up at his all-girls high school, where everyone was slightly surprised to see us.  Most high schools have school for a half-day every-other Saturday.  The Londoner said that I had come in to discuss Winter Camp planning with him, which was slightly true.  They also informed him that 2NE1 would be at the school this afternoon.  Really?  Yes, we had heard something about that…

2NE1 (pronounced like the number ’21,’ meant to represent the 21st century- yes, Americans would read it as ‘to anyone’) is a new but very popular group, which solo debuted with fire, followed by I don’t care, and are notable for the fact that they appeal to both genders (not common here), and they portray women as something other than sweet, demure, and high-heel’d.  It’s a start.  They were coming to the Londoner’s school that day to film a clip for a new video, and they also promised to perform a few songs for the girls at the school.

I know a bit about Korean pop music, but not too much.  All the groups are formed by corporate entertainment overlords, who also contract all the creative talent to write the songs.  The band members are only dancers/singers, which seems to cheapen the whole thing a bit.

We showed up at maybe 10:30am.  A little portable stage was being constructed.  We had a couple hours to kill before the actual members of the girl group showed up.  So, the Londoner gave me a tour of the school, introduced me to tons of his students, who were very shy.  Most Koreans seem to find me madly attractive, so I think I’m now the subject of a few dozen high school crushes.  Whatever.  The band was late, so the Londoner and I exchanged ideas about Winter Camp lessons, then went out to lunch with a co-worker of his.  The guy’s really cool, a mid-30′s Korean P.E. teacher who did a year of school at USC.  He was very chill.  While hanging out in the teacher office, I also met one of the English teachers who spent a year living in 3-4 different parts of California, including South Lake Tahoe and Davis.  Small world.

Before 2NE1 showed up, we all gathered in the big teachers’ office, which was right next to the classroom that the band would be shooting their video in.  Unfortunately, the hallway was off-limits.  Film crew members, aids, the directors, and private security were swarming everywhere.  So we hung out.  They prep’d and they filmed.  It took hours.  we saw them walk past the office a few times, doing walking-down-hallway shots, wearing risque versions of student uniforms.  We had consulted with the P.E. teacher beforehand, and we set out our primary mission objective:

- Get a picture with 2NE1.

Secondary mission objective was for me to ask one out on a date.  This was mostly a comedy-value objective.  The Londoner offered me 10-to-1 odds that I couldn’t, and I said that considering the grueling schedule and the army of personnel/security, the odds should really be more like 40-to-1.  He agreed that they should be, but he still only offered 10.

The picture was the primary goal.  I could put it to such good use.  Just two weeks after I started teaching, I had played a jeopardy game where students picked numbered buttons.  Each button lead to a picture that the students had to talk about.  Invariably, one of the students would pick #21, and all of the students around him/her would sing the “eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-21″ chorus from 2NE1′s Fire.  I would wait for them to finish, then click the #21 button and wham!  I’d replaced the normal clip-art picture with a downloaded pic of 2NE1.  The students decided then that I was basically the coolest teacher ever.

I have a whole new batch of students coming in March, and we will surely play this game again.  If I could repeat this event, but with a pic of myself with the band, my coolness status would officially transcend the reach of mere teachers and reside somewhere in the realm of gods.

The picture was the goal, and the awesome P.E. teacher was our Korean-speaking representative in charge of realizing that goal.  We figured that the principal would meet the band, so we decided to ask him to squeeze us in.  The principal had gone home, so no such luck.

So, we waited in the teacher’s office for an opportunity.  Then it happened.  An aid came in with a hand-drawn diagram of the room layout and some movements for the video.  She needed copies.  The P.E. teacher (who is Captain Suave himself), puts on his best accommodating grin, and informs her that he would happily make as many photocopies as she needed.  Furthermore, he would really appreciate it if she could line up three pictures with the band.

She said she’d see what she could do, but the girls had to okay it.  It was a start.

Then we hung out for a couple hours.  I talked with teachers and with students and with the Londoner and the P.E. teacher.  He had developed a game.  Three teachers (all male, all in their mid-late 30′s), would try to get little glimpses of the filming that was going on in the hallway.  There was a security guard posted to keep people out of that particular hallway.  Unfortunately for him, our rather large teacher office had three doors that opened onto that hallway.

Three men.  Three doors.  One security guard.

What ensued was, in fact, straight out of Looney Tunes.  It was childish.  It was shameless.  God damn it was funny.  It was made even better by the fact that this school was built according to the Korean convention: the wall separating the teacher’s office from the hallway was covered in windows.  From inside the office, we got to watch the security guard the whole time.  I didn’t take part in the festivities, but I must admit that I was massively entertained.

The little impromptu concert was alright, slightly underwhelming.  The music videos and actual concerts are awash with synthesized music and digital alteration of the singers’ voices.  This performance seemed like an okay-ish No-Reh-Bang (karaoke room) rendition of what the songs normally sound like.  Pop stars aren’t incredibly astoundingly talented.  Go figure.  I snapped off a bunch of pictures, though most were bad b/c the view was from above and behind the stage (didn’t leave the teacher’s office, b/c it was our staging point for Mission: Photo).  I also had a little bit of fun messing with the Londoner.  I had researched the band a little bit, just in case we actually got to chat with them.  He hadn’t looked them up at all.  He was trying to decide which one of the four he thought was the most attractive, and I cautioned him to be very careful in his choosing: their ages were twenty five/twenty five/eighteen/fifteen.

After the little show, the aid got back to us, said the band would film a bit more, and that we should stick around until after everything was finished and torn down.  Okay.  The P.E. teacher’s girlfriend called.  They were supposed to meet soon.  Doh!  The Londoner and I had both met the girlfriend before.  We told her to come to the school and join in the fun, but there were some complications with that idea.  Our opportunity clock started ticking away.

In the end, the P.E. teacher had just enough time.  Right before he had to go, the aid got back to us, and reported:

*MISSION FAILURE*

Apparently, the video being filmed wasn’t set to be released until the 29th of December, so the manager had declared no posing for pictures, because they might wind up on the internet, giving pre-debut exposure to the costumes, etc.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  Anger.  Such bitter anger.  We pointed out that the girls had just done a show for a couple hundred high school students, many of which had cameras, and ALL of which had phones.  No avail.  I would even have been cool with having the aid take the pictures and giving us her email address to pester her about it on the 29th.  She had grown kinda fond of us over the course of the day, so I guessed she would follow up on it.  To the manager, the issue was closed for discussion.

We were given the option to stick around for another X amount of time to maybe shake hands and say hi.  It would allow me to ask one of them out, which would have been interesting, but alas, we were a bit less than thrilled about the whole situation.  So we left the school before the band did.  On the walk to the subway station, the Londoner, and the P.E. teacher and I reflected.  First off, we were sad to discover that the sassy attitude the group is known for is only skin-deep and only while the camera is rolling.  During the shoot, they seem just as docile as the rest of the gender-divide pop stars.  Pity.

In the end, the three of us agreed that the highlight of 2NE1′s visit was in fact the security guy trying to guard three doors at once, while grown men ran back and forth between them.  It’s rare that you actually feel like you’re in middle school again.  I wish I had taken some video of it.

I really would have been cool with not sharing a pic w/ 2NE1 until after December 29th.  But noooo.  Instead, I dedicate the following section of this blog entry to the band’s prick manager.  How ya likin’ the low-ISO & 12x zoom, punk?

Yeah, they were pretty cold.  Look at what kinda clothes the audience is wearing to get an idea of the temperature.

Also, bonus points if you can guess the 15-year-old.

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